Saturday, April 23, 2011


the tampon aisle is a confusing, weird and uncomfortable place to be.  I've never understood why there are so many choices available, but there are, and when they are out of my kind I feel like an alien to the world of tampons so I end up standing in the aisle for at least 10 minutes trying to figure out what brand to buy "do i need regular or light or super? should i just get the variety pack? will i know which end to tear open?  do i need to be eco friendly? scented? unscented? can i really flush a flushable applicatior? why doesn't it come with a bonus dove chocolate bar? do i need 16? or 45? why don't they have a 25 pack?" it's stupid.  I used to have this fear of buying tampons in public (which i think is a legit fear) but living in a huge city kind of helps you get over that.  I used to go to Walgreen's at the weirdest hour when I lived at home because I would always see people I knew from high school.  My best friend Julie even bought me a couple of boxes when I left for college because she knew I'd rather bleed to death(which couldn't happen) than go buy them at a random Walgreen's or CVS in the city of Chicago(I have good friends).  Sometimes i think about what it would be like if men had to buy tampons and I've decided that they would either stay home for the entire week or have voluntary hysterectomies.  I realize now as I'm older  that you should be happy and proud when you buy those tampons because it means that you're still a freeeeee bitch, baby(no pun).
so here's to all the women that stand in the tamp isle for 10 minutes contemplating the cardboard and the plastic, even though we've tried them all...

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